you get a lot by jamming with and as pastagang.
you get a lot of power. you can change most things. you get to say if something's an "official" pastagang thing. you get to speak on behalf of pastagang. you get to create and deploy things for free. you get to affect other people's experiences. you get to make decisions.
you also get a lot of reach. you get to add a blog post to a feed of blog posts that many people are monitoring and reading. you probably get way more readers compared to your own personal blog. you get to give everyone a notification or a ping. you get to show everyone a notice. you get to get people to see your new mantra. you get to make everyone see your camera feed in nudel. you get to get everyone hear your loud crow noise in a club despite being in a different timezone in your bedroom. you get to make noise that is heard by people. you get to do things that are felt by people.
you get to be part of something. you get to make connections with people all around the world. you get to make in-person friends if you go to an in-person thing. you get to perform at the V&A. you get to perform on stage. you get the chance to give a workshop and get paid for travel and accommodation. you get the chance to give a talk. you get the chance to get published.
you get credit. you get to say "we released eight albums this year" not "they released eight albums this year". you get applause at the end of a pastagang performance. you get to say "i co-wrote a paper and here's the DOI". you get to add pastagang pieces to your portfolio. you get to feel good about what you've made.
you get all of these things because many many many many people have worked hard to make it happen. someone made the organisation that you can participate in. someone wrote the introduction guide. someone configured the website. someone pays for the domain names. someone pays for and maintains the deployment. someone set up the actions that run whenever you change code. or more recently, someone set up the hacky script that runs whenever you change code. someone restored nudel when you deleted it. someone reconfigured the deployment to get it back up again. someone set up actions again to get it working. someone figured out the DNS settings for the new project. someone filled out those DNS settings into the config. someone moderated pastagang's many chats to keep out spam. someone moderated nudel to remove harmful content. someone approved the requests to join the organisation. someone promoted pastagang to a wider, more diverse group of people. someone built nudel. someone built spag. someone added fft to flok. someone added custom functions to nudel. someone added the weather system. someone added settings. someone added the webcam system and added a new sync engine for it. someone filmed pastagang performing. someone edited it all together. someone created the group. someone organised all the categories. someone backed up everything. someone restored it all from backups. someone made a poster for the event. someone arranged travel. someone moved around their diary to make it work. someone someone someone
there's always someone
doing something
to make things work
to you it may or may not feel like magic. it is and it isn't. there's no substitute for hard work and patience. it contains the care we have for each other. but it often does mean working away on your own on something for quite a long time. that's okay.
we all have our reasons for being here. maybe it's for the satisfaction of being part of something bigger than yourself. maybe it's for escape. maybe it's for the fuzzy feeling of helping something grow. maybe it's for the fun. maybe it's for the reach. maybe it's for agency. maybe it's for the friends. maybe it's for the travel. maybe it's for the money. maybe it's for the permission to create something freely.
all reasons are valid because the more reasons the better! but here's my advice:
you are enjoying a thing that has been made by lots of people giving away their time and hard boring work. if you appreciate that, then pay it forward. give away your time towards doing the chores. it might not be fun but it might make you feel good(!).
give away your credit. lose your ego. expect nothing back. let go of demands. anything can happen.